Giant Sucking Sound From Chicago

I woke up early this morning. There was a rushing wind. I staggered out into the yard to see what was happening. The brisk wind was going south. Towards Chicago. Towards....Wrigley field. I heard a giant sucking sound. It dawned on me, as the sun rose, that it was the Cubs. Sucking. In September. As of last night, the losers of 6 in a row. Starting to fade. As always. Their ace pitcher, Carlos Zambrano (pictured above) has what's known as a "heavy arm". Guess that means it's tired. I went back to bed.

I'm a Cub fan in limbo. Neither going up to baseball heaven (the World Series) with the Cubs, or going down into baseball hell (losing to the Yankees). Just the giant sucking sound. God is clearly not a Cubs fan. Some would call that sacreligious to say such a thing. Some would argue that God doesn't even LIKE baseball. But, I think not because many Cub fans pray. But there's no answer. No World Series. Just that sucking sound every fall. Perhaps the Cubs are a cross I'll just have bear for the rest of my life. Excuse me while I wallow in self-pity.