Thursday, October 30, 2008
McCain Collects Another Big Endorsement: Bob the Parakeet
Today, Republican presidential candidate John McCain picked up the eager endorsement of Bob the Parakeet. McCain, speaking at a rally outside of suburban Scaramento, spoke movingly about Bob's life circumstances: "Under Barack Obama's plan, Bob's cage size would be reduced, his food would be taxed and if he wanted to start up a small business, he'd be penalized. My plan would give Bob 5000 pounds of birdseed per year. He can start a family. Send his kids to college. He can fulfill the American dream".
Bob, reached for comment in the living room of his fashionable, East side Madison apartment chirped long and loud about the virtues of Mr McCain. It was clear that in some way, Bob was actually hearing the McCain message.
Vice presidential candidate, Sara Palin, commented: "I love birds, especially at Thanksgiving. heehee!". Pundits regarded this as just the latest in a series of major gaffes in the often troubled and confused McCain campaign. "Thanks to this stupid comment by Palin," said Republican Senator Norm Coleman, "we've lost the parakeet vote".
Protestors have gathered on the lawn of Bob the Parakeet's apartment. One local resident, Mr Ether, carrying a sign that read "Birdbrains for McCain" commented that "the only way Bob the parakeet can spread the wealth around is on the newspaper lining the bottom of his cage!" Bob could not be reached for comment.