Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Burning Questions

Several burning questions have arisen lately, mostly at the dinner table. Thought I'd share these with my six regular, loyal readers for amusement, if nothing else.

1) Do men and women still have boy and girl "cooties" respectively? OR have their "cooties" grown up in some way?

2) Is the "poop deck" of an old time sailing vessel called that because of it's location at the stern of the ship or because that's where the sailors, um, poop into the ocean? This came up over dinner lsat night because Poodledoc, Jr had just finished up his sailing ship for his 8th grade Colonial Project. I've been sent pretty convincing evidence that it's called a poop deck because of location but I still remember reading IN A CHILDREN'S BOOK that it had to do with bodily functions. There was even a drawing. Yikes!

3) Sauron's eye (shown above, twice). Can we tell what kind of creature he is by examining "the lidless eye" depicted in the Lord of the Ring films? I'm still mulling this over, but this bad guy has a vertical slit pupil, so that pretty much rules out human. No surprise there. So......some creatures that have vertical pupils include cats, vipers, and Republicans, to name just a few.

4) And sticking with the Lord of the Rings theme, what happened to Gollum's eyes? Tolkien fanatics know that Gollum started his life as a fairly normal, hobbit-like creature, with presumably fairly human eyes. Then, he gets this Ring and something happens. His eyes become apparently larger. He becomes photophobic (hides from the sun), develops excellent night vision so he can find Orcs to eat in the depths of the Misty Mountains. Still working on these last two.

5) And, as long as we are on the topic of fantasy eyes, and drifting over to the fine literary classics in the Harry Potter series, how would Mad Eye Moody's eye Magical Eye work? What would we see if we looked inside? (I've examined a lot of eyes, but never a magical one. There's still time, though.)


Suzy said...

Sauron is definitely a Republican.

I don't want to know where the sailors pooped.

Joe Lieberman reminds me an awful lot of Gollum.

And I know you just put the words "fine literary classics" together with the words "Harry Potter" to get my goat (which also have vertical pupils.)

poodledoc said...

Ha, that's good about Lieberman-Gollum! I was thinking that maybe Sauroman (sp?) was a better model for Joe. Used to be a "good" guy, now seduced by the dark side, etc...

The sailors actually pooped in "the head", according to informed sources.

Did Dr Goat have vertical pupils?

Suzy said...

I don't know about Dr. Goat's pupils, but he did have a grandmother who was, apparently, addicted to prescription cold medication.

George said...

Be Very Careful !!!!!!!
If you have never been exposed to the Splotchy Story Virus, you should be forewarned....
Though it is most pleasant, it is quite infectious.
Here are the rules:
Here's what I would like to do. I want to create a story that branches out in a variety of different, unexpected ways. I don't know how realistic it is, but that's what I'm aiming for. Hopefully, at least one thread of the story can make a decent number of hops before it dies out.

If you are one of the carriers of this story virus (i.e. you have been tagged and choose to contribute to it), you will have one responsibility, in addition to contributing your own piece of the story: you will have to tag at least one person that continues your story thread. So, say you tag five people. If four people decide to not participate, it's okay, as long as the fifth one does. And if all five participate, well that's five interesting threads the story spins off into.

Not a requirement, but something your readers would appreciate: to help people trace your own particular thread of the narrative, it will be helpful if you include links to the chapters preceding yours.
The Apple
The bus was more crowded than usual. It was bitterly cold outside, and I hadn't prepared for it. I noticed that a fair number of the riders were dressed curiously. As I glanced around, I stretched my feet and kicked up against a large, heavy cardboard box laying under the seat in front of me. (Splotchy)
I couldn't believe my eyes. Surrepticiously, I tried to establish, without giving it away, if anyone else had seen what I had. For ten years I had been looking for that box. What looked like an ordinary cardboard box to most contained something most precious. Only by the small golden "P" was I able to identify what I was looking at. (Freida Bee)
I was both extremely relieved and a little sad. I was very happy that at last I could finally move forward and hope that my major disasters might be over with as I now could succeed at my life's goals. I was also dismayed that I'd hurt too many others as well as myself by my blunders searching endlessly for what now was in front of me waiting for me. “P” was both the most fascinating being I had known and the legacy left behind unfortunately because... (Geo)

I hereby infect these folks:


Feminist Allies
Ageless Hippie Chick
Math Man
Disgusted Beyond Belief
(You may be infected more than once.)