Monday, June 11, 2007

Christian Business Directory, Part 1

While watching my son do his karate class, I saw some copies of the Christian Business Directory in a nearby rack. A sign said, "Free, take one". So, curious, I did. I decided sharing it with blog world might be amusing. I want to say up front that I do not mean to demean Christians that are trying to live in a Christ-like manner. And there may be many of those in this book. I am making fun of the people who CALL themselves Christians, but do hatefull things to gays, call for "just" wars, preach hatred and racism, blow up abortion clinics...........well, you get the picture.

So with that disclaimer aside, let's take a look! Opening the book I came across an ad which read "Would you be interested in a product that rewards you for attending Church?" Intrigued I read on. The ad told me that GuideOne Insurance has that product. They include both auto and homeowners policies , with "additional benefits to help protect active church attenders", such as:

---benefits that help cover tithing

---Double the medical payments for church-related losses (what does this mean?)

And my personal favorite: Special discounts for nonsmokers, nondrinkers and pastors....

Next, I found myself drawn to the "Church not as Usual: Saturday Night Alive" page. According to the ad, this church has a healing school, concerts, Inspirational teaching and a "cappuccino bar". "I'll have a communion Latte' to go, please!" Wonder if they have free WiFi?

Then there were the Christian septic pumpers. Ahh, the possibilities. How WOULD Jesus pump out a septic tank? Many of the ads have their own Bible passages. The septic people didn't, much to my disappointment! (If anyone has any bible passages that might be useful to the septic people, I'd love to hear them. Thanks) Well, if I've offended anyone, I am sorry. Please pray for me.

Coming in Part 2: Christian Attorney's!!!!!!

1 comment:

Suzy said...

Church-related losses? I know someone who slipped on the stairs at Grace Episcopal and broke her wrist. Maybe I should pick one of those up for her.

Can't wait for the next installment. Are there any Christian poodle clippers?