Thursday, June 14, 2007

Christian Business Directory, Part 2

Well, in today's installment, I just want to start out by saying that I've taken my dog to the Christian dog kennel (their Bible verse: "A righteous man shall care for his animals.....Proverbs 12:10) I thought they did a great job of taking care of my dog Duke. I did notice, though, that when he got back from there, he tried to walk on water and almost drowned.

Then there were the Christian attorneys. I counted eight. One ad caught my eye. It said one of their areas of practice was "Religious Liberty/Free Speech". Don't we already have that? Good bible passage, though: "it was customary for the king to consult experts in matters of law and justice.....wise men who understood the times...." Esther 1:13, 14. Could they be talking about Alberto Gonzales here? Certainly not Congress. Definitely not the Democrats. And very definitely not Joe Lieberman!

And then there's the Natural Beef business, where their cattle are "Gently raised in peaceful Quaker Valley pastures." But he said unto them. " I have meat to eat that ye know not of" John 4:32. What? Is he sneaking a Big Mac every once in a while?

Then there's the Christian chiropractors. One's Bible passage says "He placed his hands on her, and at once she straightened herself up and praised God." Luke 13:13. Hmmmm. Well, I have to admit, I thought this Bible verse was a bit odd for this guy. He's a chiropractor for Christ's sake!!!

I enjoyed the one that said "Afraid of the Dentist?", read Mark 5:36 and call....
So I whipped out my handy Bible and looked it's where Jesus says: "do not be afraid, simply have faith". But personally, regarding the dentist, I preferred Mark 5:34......"Jesus said to her 'daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace, free from your affliction." Why GO to the dentist when you can avoid it altogether?

Anyway, I looked for a listing of Christian Veterinarians. I found none. We are all going to hell. Good luck and good night.

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