I thought I was being clever. Poodledoc, Jr. and I carved our pumpkins yesterday setting them out on the front steps. They looked nice with the apple-cented votive candles glowing inside. Tonight being Halloween, I dutifully lit the pumpkin candles and put out a bowl of candy next to the them. I attached a sign to the bowl which said: "Two pieces per person please OR I release my flying monkeys". Hardly original, but I thought it was funny. This was done to minimize doorbell ringing since my Standard Poodle barks furiously when it rings, disturbing the neighbors downstairs.
Being good Americans, the Poodle and I actually left for an hour to do some shopping. When we returned, a scene of mass destruction greeted us. Pumpkin pieces were scattered over the sidewalk as far as the eye could see. At first I thought it was a horrible case of "wrong place, wrong time". But I soon noticed that some of the pumpkins, to my horror, showed signs of torture (pumpkin pie recipes littered the scene). The bowl of candy was empty, tossed to one side. I wondered, where were the flying monkeys all this time?
The question was soon answered when we entered my apartment. All 20 of the Flying Monkeys were curled up asleep in their beds. They must be that new breed of Flying Monkey---the Democratic Congressional breed. True, they had the majority in the house, but they were asleep while high crimes and misdemeanors were occurring on my very own front steps.