Congress Votes to “do absolutely nothing”

In what some see as a surprise move, The U.S. House of Representatives passed House Bill 666 which stipulates, in part, that Congress will “do absolutely nothing” for the rest of President George W. Bush’s term. The bill passed by a resounding 356 to 1 vote, the lone “neigh” vote was cast by Sparky, a former draft horse representing western Nebraska. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-California) told a packed press conference that the way to fight the Bush administration’s possible wrongdoings “is not by impeachment, which is, frankly, a lot of hard work, but by simply doing nothing!” One reporter asked Pelosi if maybe Congress had already been doing nothing for the last 7.5 years of the Bush Administration. Pelosi, visibly angered shouted at the questioner, “This IS taking action! We are ACTIVELY doing absolutely nothing! No longer will we sit by passively while the Bush Administration perpetrates high crimes and misdemeanors. The people want change----well that’s a change!”

The bill, which has options for extensions, is expected to pass the Senate easily. Senate majority leader Harry Reid (D-Nevada) was quoted saying the “only worry is whether the President will sign this bill”.

McCain, reached for comment in his headquarters somewhere in Wyoming felt this was good for the country. “If Congress does nothing”, he stated, “it saves the American taxpayer lots of money to use for gas, which will solve our energy problems.”

Obama stated that when he was a street organizer in Chicago, “doing nothing was NOT an option”. Speaking to a roaring crowd of supporters at Yankee Stadium in New York, he said “this is the change we need. We need for Congress to take the bull by the horns and ACTIVELY do nothing! No more passively doing nothing while this country loses its moral compass. I say to you today, this IS the kind of change we need in this country and if elected, you will see this change through my administration!”

Reaction was swift across the heartland. One politically active teacher in Madison, Wisconsin commented to this reporter that “I’m moving to Newfoundland”. Her husband added “It sucks”.

So, what does the future hold for Congress? Apparently, not much. In the words of Ralph Nader: “Congress is irrelevant and in addition, they’re not very nice to me!”